If you or a work colleague are one of the 32 million users of Ashley Madison, those seeking to cheat on spouses or partners, and either your details or your work colleagues have been leaked online, how do you get around the privacy and embarrassment issues?
You can employ these 5 key steps.
1. Is it really you? The leaked details include many faked and disguised IDs – after all it is a cheating site. So is the name really yours, or your work colleague? Doubt remains in some quarters, but if there’s no question who the named jilted/disappointed/angry/embarrassed partner is then move on to step #2.
2. Despite its use here, avoid using the “C” word. “Cheating” is neither here nor there in the modern age of online dating or c ….., it seems. So don’t regard yourself/your work colleague as a ‘cheater’. It’s simply an online profile akin to having a LinkedIn account without the sex.
3. Deal with it. We all know that those high school reunions and catchups, the watercooler chats about marriages and kids has more subtext than an episode in the second series of “True Detective”. Everything will be re-interpreted and analyzed to within and inch of its online life. You will do it just as others will. This is a game of two halves where raised eyebrows and understanding nods will be passed about from one person to the next – everything and everyone will have a shadow of suspicion cast, so handle it with the aplomb of a CIA operative.
4. Don’t be judgmental. Look, everyone in their hearts has “played around”. Even Jimmy Carter has said he has “committed adultery in his heart many times.” Let’s not cast judgments whether you believe in extramarital affairs or not. Either way, keep it quiet.
5. Seek support. There will be Ashley Madison support groups out there and those who will understand. And so far as your/your work colleague’s partner(s) is/are concerned then turn the outing into an opportunity. Is it time to rebuild the excitement in your relationship? It would seem so and so make that happen. Order books, lingerie and a special night out to put the AM experience down to . . just that. Experience. An out-of-marriage one that is now past. Move on.
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