Lawyer lists are always fun, it’s just that there are more of them than you can throw a stick at. Still, AskMen magazine has cmpiled the list of the best divorce defense lawyers in America and – as AskMen say – hell hath no fury like a woman with a vicius divorce lawyer.
So who are these creatures from the shallows? Well, up first (at number 10, because you never start these lists with number 1) is the man who represented Christie Brinkley in her divorce from Billy Joel – Robert Stephan Cohen.
Let AbovetheLaw explain:
Cohen also protected her assets in her later divorce from nobody Peter Cook. So maybe this guy is the divorce defense lawyer we’re looking for! Or maybe not, since the Cook divorce was basically a lay up since Cook cheated on the supermodel with a teenager. You’d wonder why anyone would cheat on Christie Brinkley……and they shouldn’t, but you watch an episode of Community and see Chevy Chase, remember that this scene was 33 years ago, and suddenly you see why a philanderer might step out even though they shouldn’t.
9. William S. Beslow — Patricia Duff’s lawyer when she divorced Ronald Perelman. I always have to remind myself that this is “billionaire Ronald Perelman of Revlon” and not the much more interesting Ron Perlman of Sons of Anarchy. I doubt Beslow could best Hellboy.
Beslow has also represented Mia Farrow, Linda Evangelista, Marla Maples, and Demi Moore, and since the original Ask Men article, Beslow jumped into the George Soros-Adriana Ferreyr split. They weren’t even married, so if Beslow can get anything out of that, he’s should move much higher up this list.
8. Earle Lilly — A lawyer went after A-Rod and won. Excuse me for not being impressed, but as the performance-enhancing drug scandal evolves, it looks like A-Rod routinely fails against lawyers like they’re pitchers in a clutch situation.
7. Gloria Allred — G-L-O-R-I-A Glorrrria! Of course the preeminent publicity lawyer would make this list. This is a good time to remind everyone that Staci would absolutely love to interview Gloria Allred, so if you know how to help make Staci’s dream come true, let us know.
6. Dennis Wasser — Wasser represented Melissa Mathison when Harrison Ford divorced her so he could bone Ally McBeal. Wasser helped Mathison secure $118 million and future royalties from the movies Ford made during the marriage. Since that included the Jack Ryan movies, and a couple of Indy films, and absolutely did not include Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Wasser did right by his client.
5. Sandra Davis — Stepping across the Pond, Sandra Davis negotiated Princess Diana’s settlement in her divorce from Prince Charles. She also represented Jerry Hall when the latter broke up with Mick Jagger. Only David Bowie came out of a relationship with Jagger better off than Hall.
4. Donald Schiller — Schiller represented Juanita Jordan and took Michael to the hoop like he was Washington Wizards-vintage Jordan. I’d be impressed with Schiller’s acumen, but I’ve seen the Bobcats front office and I think screwing Michael in a negotiation is like taking candy from a baby. I mean, Michael Jordan wouldn’t even bet on Michael Jordan’s negotiating skill.
3. Fiona Shackleton — First of all, she’s a Baroness.OK, maybe not that Baroness, but it’s still cool. Shackleton represented Heather Mills when she decided she didn’t need Paul McCartney when he was 64. They broke up a month before he reached the age of the musical question.2. Daniel Jaffe — Jaffe took over a billion from Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch didn’t notice.
1. Sorrell Trope — Of the predictable law firm of Trope and Trope. His success stories include representing Britney Spears, Nicole Kidman, and Elin Nordegren. Not a bad run. If only he could get Britney out of conservatorship.